By Ty Walker
The Mountain Times
A biotechnician who’s specialized in oncology for 15 years, Shawn Armstrong has seen a lot of terminally ill parents come and go, including a good friend who died of cancer, leaving her husband the sole caretaker for two young boys.
“Her biggest concern after being diagnosed with cancer was who was going to take care of her kids when she died?” Armstrong said. “It was really quite heartbreaking.”
There was no safety net to give her friend peace of mind while she was still alive that her boys, ages four and six, would have the care they needed when she was gone. One of the most stressful things for a terminally ill person is the anxiety of worrying about who was going to raise their kids.
Armstrong, who lives in Welches and is raising two boys of her own, is spearheading a program that is raising money to let moms choose a caregiver through a nanny agency to receive continuity of care for their children. The nanny and dying mother (or father) would get to know each other and work with the family during the last year of the mother’s life. They would help raise the kids together, then the nanny would continue as a caregiver after her death for as long as the family chooses.
Armstrong directs the private nonprofit, A Mother’s Peace, which she launched with the support of her siblings and consultants – one a child psychiatry nurse, the other with a masters in education. The goal is to give a mother peace of mind during the last year of her life.
“A lot of these kids end up having problems with alcohol, drug abuse and sexual promiscuity as teens if they lose a parent at an early age and have unstable care,” Armstrong said. “Losing a parent at a young age, going from daycare to daycare, it’s heartbreaking.”
Support systems seem to stop when the terminally ill parent dies, when bereft families need them most. A Mother’s Peace hopes to bridge that gap.
“It costs about $75,000 a year to provide this kind of care for one family,” Armstrong said.
“Even if we can help one family a year, it’s worth it.
“We raise money and coordinate with the nanny agencies, who vette the nannies to make sure they have that kind of experience, working with a terminally ill parent,” Armstrong said. “That’s a little bit more than just being a nanny. You’re dealing with a family going through a lot of grief.”
Mother’s Peace plans grief counseling programs for families in need as well. Support for single parents undergoing cancer treatment is also available.
Donations to A Mother’s Peace are tax deductible and can be made at amotherspeace.org.