By Bradford Bixby
The Mountain Times
Welcome back Dear Reader to another edition of Fore, the hard hitting investigative column that exposes the soft underbelly of the world of local golf. But every now and then I back away from digging up scandal and corruption to examine less explosive subject matter. For instance, I recently discovered a little factoid that blew my mind. In over twelve hundred rounds of golf PGA pro Calvin Peete hit exactly one ball out of bounds. You heard me, just one. Krikes I doubt I’ve gone twelve days without an OB. Man what a sad existence that must have been with no more than one amusing anecdote to share at the nineteenth hole.
Luckily for you Dear Reader I have many OB stories to share. Like when I hit a ball into a backyard that bounced off the house and came to rest on the patio. My partner announced “Looks like you are lanaiing one!” Or the time I was playing The Legacy in Las Vegas and proceeded to slice four drives in a row toward the houses. When I went to see if I could retrieve any of them I could see through the fence that all four were lying in a square that you could cover with a bandana. Now I know we golfers are always searching for consistency in our game but I’m sure that’s not the right kind. I was playing the same course another time and sliced my drive ( yes I was aware of the problem) into the houses and heard the tinkling of broken glass. I quietly snuck over to take a peek: call it morbid curiosity. On the second floor there was a bathroom window made of those hollow glass cube blocks and resting comfortably inside one was my ball. I snuck away but proudly pointed it out every time I played there with someone new. And I’m sure I’m not the only one to buy my own balls from those kids that scavenge them from all the various OB locations I delivered them to. I’m also sure that the people who live across the street from Pinecone One have collected a couple dozen of my balls over the years. All of which makes me even more impressed with Calvin Peter. Then I learned that Mister Show Off Smarty Pants Daniel Summerhays sank 941 three foot or less putts in a row. Alas, Dear Reader, it’s much too painful to recount my numerous failures in this area (sob, sniffle).
So enough about me (you never thought you’d hear me say that did you?) – let’s get to some club business. As you read this the Women’s Club is playing their first event Wednesday, May first and every Wednesday through the season. They would love to have you join them. And if you don’t golf (thanks for reading anyway) Mallards is still the best kept secret on the mountain and will have live music every Friday night starting around Memorial Day.
So come on down and play a round and when you do remember to “Hit Em Straight.”