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Golf Songs and Babies posted on 07/27/2023
Welcome back, Dear Reader, to another month of Fore, the column that delivers regardless of driving rain or smothering heatwave. As I write this we are in the middle of a “heat” wave that got us up to 90 degrees. What a bunch of wimps we are. Death Valley in California hit 134 degrees, the hottest air temperature EVER recorded on Earth. Las Vegas was over 115 for ten days straight and Phoenix was 120 for 3 straight days. All record setting. Hmmm…I feel cooler already!
The baby in the accompanying photo is the brand new daughter of Rae and Michael Namura. Congratulations to you two. The stroller golf bag/cart is just one of the new and creative club carriers I’ve been lately. I saw a guy on our course who had rigged his clubs to a dirt bike: he had replaced the back wheel with a golf cart wheel. We also have Dave Ater who zips around the course on his Segway. I’ve also heard that you can rent a motorized skateboard with a club rack on it at Twisted Tree golf course in Corvallis. Of course my first thought is “great, three more ways for me to kill myself!” I’ll stick with four wheels and a steering wheel, thank you very much.
After I’ve hacked and clicked my way through a hole I often sing my version of “pick a little, talk a little’ from The Music Man. “ Chip a little, putt a little, chip a little, putt a little, chip chip chip then you putt then you chip a little.” Last time I played I wondered out loud if anyone else had converted lyrics to reflect golf. So I got on line and found a bunch. My favorites were “Slice Slice Baby, “The Bohemian Golf Rhapsody” and John Denver’s “18 Holes,” sung to the tune of “16 Tons.” Look them up – they are funny. But the best is actually an album put out by our own Peter Jacobsen and Payne Stewart called “Jake Trout And The Flounders.” Some of the song titles are “Love The One You Whiff,” “Time To Let It Fly,” “Square Grooves,” “PGA Blues,”
 “I want A New Glove,” “Don’t Worry, Keep Swinging,” “I Just Wanna Cry,” and lastly, for you Clair, is “Slow Play.”
Maybe I will produce a few of my own selections like “I Hit You With My Best Shot,” “I’d Love To Change My Swing,” “Hell Is For Golfers,” and of course “Bye Bye Birdie.” Ooh Ooh…I can use the stage name Twoputt For sure. Now all I need is an agent.
In Golf Club news, we had two hole-in-ones five days apart. First Bob Swan clanked one on number nine Pinecone then Rich Lujan aced number eight Thistle. Well done gentlemen. The men have also launched their match play tournament to crown three division winners and the club champion.
On the women’s side, the nine holers had their Flag Day Chapman tournament in June. The winners were the team of Karen Kais and Caryn Wilson. Runners-up were Nancy Lujan and Phillipa Jones. The eighteen holers had their Spring Stableford tournament won by the team of Dian Schaffran and Karol Tercek. The Runners-up were the team of Linda Underwood and Jan Eldredge. Congratulations to you all.
That’s all I have for this month so get out there and play while the weather is incredible and when you do remember to “Hit Em Straight.”



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